Photographs. They are my memory – capturing the moments that matter most. Those most treasured lead me to much needed places of feeling that I don’t seem to have the ability to recall otherwise.
Most recently their promise allowed me the gift of being present at my mother’s memorial – handing over my need to remember to Peg McCarthy of O Shoot Photography. My shoulders loosened unexpectedly the moment Peg said yes to immortalizing the day with images that could act as the corners of my mind in the years to come. And, oh, what a gift it was.
Since receiving the photos in these days following the memorial, I have marveled at what I’ve already let 
slip away – the smile of an old friend, the magnificent presence the officiant, Jane Watanabe, brought when speaking the words of commendation, and how I snuggled Mom’s urn in tight while walking out of the church.
The beautiful flowers Holton Flowers created to frame Mom’s urn have faded and drooped. And, yet, my hands have been hesitating in their presence every time garbage day comes around. While mindlessly fidgeting with the flowers this morning, it suddenly struck me to swap the faded blooms for framed photos of the day. And so, I did.
As I write this, the pale flowers have found their way to the curb accompanied by tears, and in their place are immortalized images of the memorial that so honoured Mom – all framed with care and surrounding Mom’s urn on my living room sideboard. Over time, perhaps one or two frames will be tucked away – naturally – as my grief weaves into the fabric of my life. And, maybe in their place I will create a book of photos I can pull off the shelf in the moments I need to remember. Whatever form they take, I am so looking forward to having these gifts all the days of my life.
And, to the woman who caught the beautifully intimate images that will carefully hold my feelings for me for the rest of my life – thank you, thank you, thank you.
Images: Peg McCarthy – O Shoot Photography
Flowers: Holton Flowers, Port Hope
