“Do you live an inauthentic life because you can’t bear the thought that they might disapprove of you?” Byron Katie
In life, there is nothing better than being in the company of people who support you in being the unique beautiful creature that you are, is there? It is like winning the jackpot! Individuals who listen intently – and, with a quiet curiosity are present with you in ways that gently invite you to grow.
This past weekend, I found myself walking a beautiful country road with souls who I would be proud to have on my squad. Not once over the course of the day did I hear the sound of disparaging laughter aimed at my quirky behaviour or my rather ridiculous cozy socks that kept my feet toasty under a table surrounded with joy and laughter. In fact, the warm faces encouraged the woman in me who is continually searching to find new ways to bring her excavated authentic self into the world.
“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” Judy Garland
Now, none of us escapes having times when our cheerleaders have clearly left the building. And, I have had an uncanny ability to find myself in the presence of anything but pom-poms at various times in my life. I find these periods in my life were heavy and ripe with opportunity to give-in to my diminished spirit, as I became wrapped up in needing to defend myself, and buying in to other’s needs. It seemed the more I wrestled with the gnashing teeth by justifying and explain myself, the more the gremlins were successful in feeding on my spirit. I have learned to turn away.
“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” Sally Field
More and more, I bring forth an honest curiosity and interest in others; setting my agenda aside quite willingly. And, I find, much to my delight, that my life is lifted in the most amazing ways by those who are interested in my highest good. My new habitat is full of the richness and warmth of connection. Falling away, are the gremlins who never genuinely liked me in the first place. And, now I am so busy enjoying the company of fascinating people that I rarely notice those gnashing and tearing at my heels.
It takes courage though. Don’t get me wrong. Just recently, I found myself staring at the ceiling at 4 am, weighing out the risks in a specific dilemma: Be who I am fully and risk falling flat on my face, or take the safe well-worn path I know by heart. I have chosen to risk losing people close to me too many times to count. And, I have been hated, gossiped about, and hurt to the depths of who I am, as a result of my choices. But, more and more in life, I have found that the gamble is worth the risk. And, that the rewards truly are the winning ticket!
“I was once afraid of people saying, ‘Who does she think she is?’ Now I have the courage to stand and say, ‘This is who I am.’ ” Oprah Winfrey
What about you?
Taking risks to bring the real Jan out into the light is leading to the miraculous in my relationships, career and enjoyment of life. What changes would you like to see emerge in your cheerleading/gremlin dynamic? And, what risks are you willing to take to help those changes come about?
I would love to hear your thoughts, ideas, or favourite quotes about the cheerleaders and gremlins in your life. Please post them in the comments below or on my Facebook page.
Warmly,
